If characters would send e-mails ( or post mail ) [ really funny ! ] - just gr8t !

This is from an email that I received, found it funny and thought you might like it :) enjoy :D

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

  Enjoy fantasizing about that.

  Sincerely, Logic

   
Dear Icebergs,

  Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

  Sincerely, The Titanic

   
Dear J.K. Rowling,

  Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

  Sincerely, Anonymous

     

Dear America,

  You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

  Sincerely, Canada

   

 
Dear Boyfriend,

  I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

  Sincerely, Spiders

   
Dear Voldemort ,

  So they screwed up your nose too?

  Sincerely, Michael Jackson
 

  Dear Yahoo,

  I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…

  Sincerely, Google

   
Dear 2010,

  So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

  Sincerely, 1985 
 

  Dear Justin Bieber ,

  Ariel would really love her voice back.

  Sincerely, King Triton
   

Dear Rose,

  There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

  Sincerely, Jack

   
Dear Windshield Wipers,

  Can’t touch this.

  Sincerely, That Little Triangle

   
Dear Taylor Swift,

  If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

 Sincerely, Shakespeare

   

Dear Soccer Fans,

  B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z

  Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!

 Sincerely, Vuvuzelas

   

Dear Saturn,

  I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

  Sincerely, God

   

 
Dear Rubik’s Cube,

  Done!

  Sincerely, Colorblind

   

Dear Santa,

  Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho’s.

  Sincerely, Tiger Woods

   
 

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

  I. Can’t. Breathe.

  Sincerely, Your Balls

   

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

  I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream… What now?

  Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

   

  Dear Sleeping Beauty,

  I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

  All you had to do was wake up.

  Sincerely, Mulan

   

Dear Romeo,

  My death isn’t the only thing I’ve been faking…

  Sincerely, Juliet

  

Dear Fox News,

  So far, no news about foxes.

  Sincerely, Unimpressed
 

 
Dear Sex Educators,

 Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

  Sincerely, The Virgin Mary

   
 
Dear Toaster,

  Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

  Sincerely, Toast

   

  Dear Edward,

  I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

  Sincerely, a stake

 

  Dear Prince Charming,

  You’ve got some explaining to do!

  Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty