So this is from another e-mail I received :)
British Humour
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Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results.They said you have 24 hours to live.Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?What's the very bad news?Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
*************** "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?""Yes, of course...""Great! I never could before!"
*************** A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"And the man replies, "No, just spots."
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, ‘Ma’am, may I have that seat?’ The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, ‘Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.’
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.
’Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.’
She snorted, ‘Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!’
This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, ‘Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!’
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, ‘Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.’The Blond Flight Attendant
An airline captain was helping a new blond flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!""You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?"She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"Why Men Don't Want to Go to The Doctor
A man speaks frantically into the phone,"My wife is pregnant , and her contractions are only two minutes apart!""Is this her first child?" the doctor queries."No, you idiot !" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"***************
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results.They said you have 24 hours to live.Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?What's the very bad news?Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
*************** "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?""Yes, of course...""Great! I never could before!"
*************** A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"And the man replies, "No, just spots."
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